Living Together Before Marriage...Right or Wrong?

Lately, I've been thinking about the topic of "living together before marriage." No matter what it comes to mind, it seems like sometimes its wrong and sometime it feel so right. What is right and what is wrong? Well, that really depends on who it is your with, how strongly you feel about the other person and especially where you came from in some cases. Different cultures and ethnicity have different ways of doing things and how things are done. What seem right for one cultures might not seem right for other cultures. So its very difficult to say weather what is right and or wrong.

For example, in the American culture everyone has the right to be with any one they wish to be with and or live with them, and nothing is wrong with that. In other cultures, its wrong to live with a person of opposite sex such as a girlfriend before marriage. Why is it wrong to live together before marriage? Based on a little research of my own with a few cultures that are against it, it has a lot to do reputations and respect. Say for example, if a couple is living together and the female is pregnant, that would considered to be very bad for the both of them, very disrespecting the parents and elders and will ruin not only both of their reputations but both side of the families as a whole. That is why it feel so right for the couple but so wrong at the same time because of cultures.

In my opinion, I think people has the right to be with who they choose to be with weather living together just as boyfriend and girlfriend. Nothing is wrong with that, its actually a good thing because the couple has the advantage of spending a lot of time together over regular traditionally boyfriend/girlfriend couples and its a good way of getting the feel/know each other 24/7 before taking it up to the next step. Weather it will works out or not, that is totally up to them. Everyone has the power to control their own lives, not decided by others or what people tell them to "do" or "not do" just because its bad or good. So overall, there isn't a right or wrong when it comes down to "living together before marriage."

Today I had a really great debate with the family about the Hmong traditional ways verses the Hmong modern ways now which is more towards the American ways. I totally disagree with a few members of the family which thinks that men have all the power and rights over women to do whatever they like. For example, men have the right to have more than one wife. I think its wrong to have more than one wife period weather you are a King or someone that have the power to do anything. People should only be committed to one person and only one. If they want to be with other people they should let the other person know it before and end that relationship before moving on to the next.
I also disagree about the fact that men should make the decisions weather its the right or wrong decisions. I think that all the decisions should be make by husband and wife/kids as a whole, groups of people, decisions base on the laws and facts, etc... I'm always a believer that two is better than one, three is better than two and so on because what you see is not what everyone see. Usually, best decisions are best when you make a decisions with a group of people that a lot of people agree upon.
I disagree with most the issues that was being debate tonight because I'm more modernize than a lot of the older generations in the family. I was raised and grew up in the United States most of my life and I see both side of the traditional ways and the more modern ways. I like to mix in with the traditional and modern ways and used that to make the best decisions out of it to make it fair for everyone in the family. I can't just take one side and not the other, make one happy and not the other. I'm a very fair person when it comes to making decisions because I know and understand where everyone is coming from. That's why I disagree with some from the traditional ways and the modern ways.

Tai Lee